God Please Clarify

I have not written anything since Marsha died. Not only did I lose a wonderful friend that had been such a great Christian and who had kept me on track but I also lost another dear friend and I don't know why. When Marsha died a foursome died. I had three friends to connect with and suddenly her absence created a big hole. I did not get to say good bye as her family had requested only family, her best friend and her pastor (also a best friend) be at her home and at her attendance. My luncheon with my Pastor was canceled and I was called in to visit with a person who had apparently been praying for me. She suggested I that I was covering things up from the past and things should be rethought. I was sad......so sad and very confused. God I don't know what you had in mind or what you were thinking but I am very blessed by my friends. My daughter called my doctor and returned a call to my pastor....hmmm? It was explained that my signature had been sloppy and there were concerns of my being too involved with my pastor. So that relationship would be cut back. It was suggested that I see a Christian Counselor so I did. I saw him once and he thought I was more than ok. God is good and understanding, I just need his explanation.