Lost my way

Isn't it amazing that the more you get involved in something such as your religion the more you lose your way. I have loved the Lord and that love became confused with the love of a dear friend. Oh my gosh, how could that ever happen and why. That is not what the Lord wanted. The more I prayed, the more my prayers got mixed up. Finally I was totally lost. So I am starting again, starting from scratch, asking for forgiveness after I was told to look up Isiah 2:20. I was not hearing from God (or didn't feel like I was), I felt abandoned. I have thought about leaving the church and looking for another church although that would be an easy way to escape, I love my church. God I have totally messed up. I have asked in prayers for you to "fix it". You are making me squirm and wiggle and work really hard. All I have to do is pass it over to you.